Hi! How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me.
She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat,
filling all available space.
Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on
our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me
and my seat into insignificance.
I cringed and reclined towards the window.
She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat,
friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at
her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.
I turned away to stare out the cabin window, sulking silently
about the long hours of discomfort I was going to experience with this monster
beside me.
She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Laura. I’m from
Britain. How about you? Japan?”
“Malaysia,” I barked.
“I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake
my hand. If we’re going to spend six hours side-by-side on this flight, we’d
better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook
the hand reluctantly, still silent.
Laura started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my
unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to Hong
Kong to see her frinds. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy
for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.
I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed
by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her
voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging when we were served
drinks and meals, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t
want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.
To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now
opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t
help but let down my guard slowly.
Laura was an interesting conversationalist. She was well read in
many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant
subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous
and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly
surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.
During our conversation, Laura managed to make every cabin crew
who served us walk away laughing at her jokes.
When a flight attendant was clearing our plates, Laura cracked
several jokes about her size. The flight attendant roared with laughter as she
grabbed Laura’s hand, “You really make my day!”
For the next few minutes, Laura listened attentively and gave
pointers to the flight attendant’s weight problem. The grateful attendant said
before she rushed off, “I’ve got to work. I’ll come back later and talk to you
about it.”
I asked Laura, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”
“No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it
up?”
“You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with
being overweight?”
“Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about
your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that
say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be
yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who
you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year!
Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other
important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily
and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to
life than worrying about weight all day long.”
She sipped at her wine. “Besides, God gives me so much happiness
that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my
happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.
Laura continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big
bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a
glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower.
They’re wrong.” She held up her glass to a passing flight attendant. “More of
this magnificent wine, please.” She smiled sweetly at the attendant. “Great
service from your crew. May God bless all of you.”
She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full
of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is
here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”
“Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.
“Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep
proposing to me.
“Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to
confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have
been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”
Laura paused before she said thoughtfully, “You know, the
relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and
call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they have been lied to, and then they
turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their
soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become
devils with tridents!”
Laura’s enthralling conversation had turned the flight into
something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were
drawn to her. By the end of the flight, almost half the cabin crew was standing
near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Laura. The passengers around us
joined in the merry-making too. Laura was the centre of attention, filling the
cabin with delightful warmth.
When we waved goodbye to each other at the arrival lounge at Hong
Kong’s Kai Tak Airport, I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring
adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Laura. She
turned around and winked at me.
I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Laura was the most
beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.
By Chong Sheau Ching
