Biwi ko
padhaunga
Santa : pehle
me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri
dilwaunga.
Banta : fir
acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cigarette
santa apne
father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
Logon ne
kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
Santa bola :
Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Imagine
Interviewer :
Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa :
Simple, Stop imagining.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa fell
out
Q: Why did
Santa fall out the window ?
A: He was
ironing the curtain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brake fail
Santa Ki Biwi
: O ji Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Santa : Are
Banoo Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, To accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar
pahunch jaate hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banta fell
in love
Banta fell
in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one
of her movie.... the Movie came to an End.
A bit
disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it
was just a movie and not reality."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fighting
santa banta
were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u
fighting?
santa : This
fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
santa: Even i
did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Plane
Ride
Santa
traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while
landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",
air hostess
: " B-silent please ",
santa said :
" OMBAY - OMBAY.....!!!!!!!! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa's
Underwear
Santa goes to
buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs
500
Santa: Arey
bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nishana
Banta :
Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa :
Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matlab
Santa meets
his friend Bunta
Santa : A
& B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye,
Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch
Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speed
Breaker
Santa :
Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo
Ji ?
Santa : Je
SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phone Ki Ganti
Santa : Phone
Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo
Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine
Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet :
Phone Mere Liye Tha!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Awaaz
Santa :
Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor:
Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucky
Santa : Oh
Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti
Hai..!
Banta : Oh
Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dost Hi Dost
Ke Kam aata hai
Santa :
Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost
Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Love You
Banta : Wo
Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine
Kaha I Love U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kauwa Toh
A crow shits
on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi
Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fight
Santa : When I
get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I
clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How
does that help?
Jasmeet : I
use your toothbrush!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drink
quickly
Sardar &
his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar
says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks
why...
sardar says
hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10.
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